In Memory of My Beloved Mother

IMG_1765I have been rather candid about my mother’s battle with an evil thief called Alzheimers.  Unfortunately, she lost her battle on April 1st.  It has completely rattled me to my core.  I know there are stages of grief and we have been preparing for this outcome, but there is something about going through the actual loss.  To say that it has affected my productivity and daily life is an understatement.  I take solace in the fact that she no longer suffers, but it still doesn’t make the pain of the loss any less.  I’m sure with time it will be less intense, but I will still feel this void.  We were so close and she was such a constant in my very active life.  She was there to help with all of my big life events like marriage, birth of my sons and moves.  She was my advocate, confidant, guidance counselor and litmus test. Unfortunately, she was not there for my divorce last year.  It made me appreciate all the times she was there, more than I appreciated at the moment.

I wrote her eulogy the other day and it put everything in perspective.  How do you honor someone so special in your life?  It made me reflect on how blessed I was to be given the time I had with her.  All of her beauty, inside and out that she shared with all of us. Life is a gift and we are reminded how precious every day is.  I just wish I took the extra time out of my busy life to appreciate her more.  Life is short and it should be lived to its fullest and to be enjoyed in the present. Every day offers me another opportunity to make her proud and I intend to honor her in that way.